Self Love Street - A journey to self-love

Meet us on Self Love Street where we are getting to know residents Fran Leila and Olivia. Watch as the housemates deal with insecurities triggered by the demands of modern life. But instead of being held back by self-doubt, each housemate takes conscious action and chose self-love.

Millenial Therapist Dr Sara Kuburic also joins our self-love conversation providing helpful every day tips on overcoming self-doubt triggers. So if you relate to our housemate’s stories, we’re here to help you choose self-love and start your self-love journey.

Step up to self-love and flex your newfound superpower

Self-love is a modern superpower. We’re not born with it and it doesn’t happen by magic. Self-love is an active choice, something we practice, nurture and protect – because for many of us, self-doubt is more our default.

In a society that promotes self-doubt and insecurity, practicing self-love is more important than ever before as levels have now reached a crisis point with nearly 1 in 2 people feeling more self-doubt than self-love*.

Experiencing rejection and dealing with criticism can eat away at our self-worth. The pain of a social snub, the struggle to silence your inner critic, or drown out the opinions of strangers, can impact how we take care of ourselves.

Self-love is a journey and a work in progress always. It comes with establishing daily habits that fuel self-acceptance and help lift us up when we’re experiencing tough times. Our survey* found that those with high self-love are more likely to bounce back quickly after hard times. Even more reason to tap into this super-power!

Fran: The curative power of self-care

Self Love Street Fran

“Self-love entails our willingness to appreciate who we are, even if others don’t. The most important relationship should be the one you have with yourself.”

Sara Kuburic AKA Millenial Therapist

EXISTENTIAL THERAPIST AND COACH

When we check in with Fran, she’s looking at her phone; no matches, no messages – rejection can still sting on screen. Feeling jaded with online dating in search of love, Fran decides to flip the situation and focus on her relationship with herself. Taking back control, reconnecting with her body and prioristing her own physical and emotional needs. Self-love is selfcare.

When we put ourselves ‘out there’, we risk getting snubbed, shut down or ostracised. Rejection is inevitable, but it still hurts, sometimes more than we care to admit. We’re hard-wired to seek out human connection, which is why a cold shoulder or being ghosted can cut deep.

Rejection can also make us feel vulnerable and embarrassed, and it can negatively impact our mood, self-esteem and wellbeing. But try not to find fault in yourself. Attacking your self-worth will only deepen the emotional anguish. Yes rejection hurts, but don’t let it hold you back.

5 ways to nurture your self-relationship by Sara Kuburic

  1. Be honest with yourself
  2. Stand up for what you believe in
  3. Forgive yourself
  4. Set boundaries
  5. Speak to yourself with respect

LEILA: Self-image and smiling like you mean it

Women taking selfie and smiling

“Self-love is accepting ourselves as we are! We need to stop wasting our time trying to be “perfect” for others, and spend our time recognizing the strength and beauty of our bodies.”

Sara Kuburic AKA Millenial Therapist.

EXISTENTIAL THERAPIST AND COACH

When we catch up with Leila, she’s trying to capture the perfect selfie, adjusting her angles… look up, lean back, flash off, filter on, show teeth, no teeth. With every snap her inner critic is looming. Before she hits the panic button, Leila pivots away from self-doubt and decides to take matters into her own hands. She puts down her phone, picks up her paintbrush and sets out to capture what the camera lens can’t - her artful self-portrait radiates light and self-love.

So why didn’t any of Leila’s selfies make the cut? Having tools at our disposal to brighten, boost and blur images can make it hard to appreciate photographs for the raw emotions they convey and the special moments they capture. Social comparison and our obsession with ‘perfection’ means we are missing the bigger picture... Objectifying our appearance creates a sense of detachment that prevents us tuning in and recognising the strength and beauty of our bodies.

Five non-physical self compliments by Sara Kuburic

  1. You inspire me to be the best version of myself
  2. I look up to you
  3. I feel safe around you
  4. You’re a good friend
  5. I am proud of you

OLIVIA: Setting boundaries

Woman playing guitar
Women playing guitar

“If we allow the opinions of other people to guide our actions, we allow them to shape who we become. Instead, lets learn to set boundaries around seeking external approval and learn to validate ourselves.”

Sara Kuburic AKA Millenial Therapist.

EXISTENTIAL THERAPIST AND COACH

When we drop in on Olivia, she’s playing the guitar in her room. Sat on the edge of her bed, she’s calm and composed until she notices negative comments flashing up on her feed - that’s when we realise this set is being live-streamed. Olivia is putting herself out there by sharing her music online, but the feedback she receives is negative, hurtful and not at all constructive. Undeterred by the unkindness, she doesn’t miss a beat and dials up her performance. Eyes closed, whipping her hair back and forth in her own zone, she’s serenading herself now.

We play out a lot of our lives on social media. As well as staying connected to people, we post to control our own image . We get the opportunity to construct and hone the content we share, in the hope it will be noticed and appreciated by peers. Because let’s be frank, it feels good to get a compliment.

But these platforms pool opinions from across the board and it only takes one critical comment to trigger feelings of self-doubt. Striving to be universally liked is a slippery slope that holds you back and it can harm your mental health and physical wellbeing. To live authentically, we all need to care less about external validation. Hobbies, such as playing music, have been shown to increase confidence**. And by redrawing boundaries and limiting exposure to social media, you can start to sharpen those internal validation skills and nurture self-love

Five self-boundaries by Sara Kuburic

  1. I will recognise my worth
  2. I will value my opinion
  3. I will celebrate my efforts
  4. I will be kind to myself
  5. I will not let other people’s opinion define me

Self-love journey

Remember, self-love is a journey and the best way to venture on the journey is to simply start. Find out more about The Body Shop Self Love Uprising and how you can begin your own journey to self-acceptance and ultimately, self-love.

** Research was conducted between November 22 and December 8, 2020, staggered across 21 countries. 22,619 respondents including adults aged 18 and older.

** https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1877042811022257