The Body Shop Self Love Book Club
Reading can be a great way to practice Self Love every day. In this new monthly series, we’ll be speaking to a range of celebrities, campaigners, authors and activists to find out what reading means to them, and the books they couldn’t live without.
For this series, we have partnered with Bookshop.org , a socially-conscious way to buy books online with the majority of profits supporting local, independent bookshops and authors. 10% of the sale of any book purchased via the affiliate links on this page will go to our charity partner End Youth Homelessness.
How can we avoid over-committing at this time of year? “You just need to learn how to use the word ‘no’,” says Michelle, who admits she’s not the biggest fan of Christmas. “There’s a lot of pressure for it to be perfect, but there are plenty of less than perfect scenarios. If you’re staying with family you might not feel like you can be yourself, some people will be spending the holidays alone, or you can burn out from all the parties. There are still times when my own boundaries are challenged, but following through on them is about self-respect.”
How do you decide what goes into your diary? Figure out what you want to do. I got to the point where I would look at my diary and if I was free I would just say ‘yes’. There was no filter where I asked, ‘Do you I want to go?’ And I think that’s how a lot of people operate. Particularly with work stuff, it’s easy to convince yourself that you need to go.
How did you get comfortable in your own company? Through life coaching I realised that I loved myself, to an extent, but I didn’t like spending time with myself. It was very much a process - being single and learning to enjoy alone time. I used to be the kind of person who had thirty best friends because I could never be alone. Through setting boundaries, I lost friends. But eventually I found new people.
Is self-care an important component of alone time? It’s easy just to slap on moisturiser but taking time to do self-soothing tasks is a huge part of being kinder to yourself. Smells can change my mood and I love The Body Shop’s British Rose Body Yogurt. In lockdown I caught myself saying, ‘I’ll save that for summer.’ It says something about your self-worth when you believe you don’t deserve the good stuff. I realise now, I need all the good stuff!
The fact I can walk into rooms feeling confident in who I am is a huge step forward for me,” says Mikaela. The 23 year old medical student is one of the country’s most influential environmental campaigners but growing up she was traumatised by racial bullying. “I was insecure and made to feel ugly. I’ve still got a long way to go but now I lean on the likes of [civil rights activist] Audre Lorde, who saw self-love and looking after yourself as a form of resistance.” Now, much of Mikaela’s work focuses on how the climate crisis intersects issues such as racial inequality and refugee rights. She points out: “Because of these oppressive systems, it’s simply not possible for some people to self-love themselves out of harm. That’s why we need to dismantle the systems.
How does climate anxiety manifest itself?
It’s a privilege to experience climate anxiety as this existential dread as opposed to say the reality of being displaced from my home because of wildfire - that’s important to say. For me, I feel overwhelmed and get insomnia because I’m over-thinking the facts. It’s fear about a lack of agency and control over the situation.
Does reading help manage your anxiety?
Sometimes I’m so anxious I can’t read and that’s fine. But there are times when it definitely does help because I recognise that whilst the climate crisis is unique, movements have been fought and won in the past, especially by young people. It’s comforting to read about people who have resisted previously.
How do you prioritise self-care?
As someone who suffers from mental health issues, especially seasonal depression, choosing to look after myself is a way that I choose to love myself. I never used to wear SPF but in the past year I’ve come to realise that I should be protecting myself. I really like The Body Shop’s Vitamin C Glow-Protect Lotion SPF30.
“Education is the key to freedom,” says Ateh. “Mic drop!” Speaking ahead of International Day of the Girl on 11 October, when we celebrate girls’ right to education, the award-winning journalist tells our Self Love Book Club: “Reading is fundamental. It’s all about carving out space for yourself. You fill yourself up with every word - and the more you fill yourself up, the more power and peace you have.” If Ateh could invite anyone into Book Club, she says she would have her great great grandmothers, as well as her twin daughters, Ola and Adanna. “Just to listen to my ancestors, their stories and aspirations. I would say: ‘I’m sorry for what you have gone through. But thank you. My daughters are the next generation and it’s going to be ok.’”
Where are you on your self-love journey?
It’s hard, especially for mothers, but I’m at that point where I’m putting myself first. It’s that thing where you have to put the life vest on so you can look after others. Now, I think what I’m striving for is more peace.
What role does reading play in your quest for peace?
I had a hectic, traumatic childhood. Reading was, and still is, my saviour. My safe space. Growing up, reading made me feel a lot less lonely and it helped me to understand how people work. Books are healing.
How important is self-care to you?
I’m grateful to even have the word. Growing up in the eighties, we didn’t have the language. Like many people, I stepped it up over lockdown. I now take regular walks, have a bath everyday and I use the Calm app. I’m also really sensorial so beauty products are like spiritual hugs for me. I love The Body Shop’s Camomile Sumptuous Cleansing Butter.
Nicole has a global platform and is helping to carve out a community through Black Girl Fest. “Reading books, specifically by people who are beyond me in their careers and familyhoods, helps me navigate the next steps in life,” says the change-maker, who earlier this year was named on the Forbes Europe 30 Under 30 list for Art and Culture. But growing up, books were all about escapism. “My older brother bought me the Harry Potter books. My mum disapproved of them so we used to read them late at night, up on his bunk bed with a torch.” Born in Ghana and raised in London, Nicole was bullied at school and recalls finding “comfort” in books with characters that looked like her: “My reality was that I was picked on for being black, so discovering literature that celebrated that was a big turning point for me.”
Have you always excelled at public speaking?
At school I wasn’t the most confident writer, but I would always find a way to deliver a speech or presentation. I’ve always found power in articulating myself and speaking up. Even to this day, when people say they love journaling, I say that I love talking to myself and creating voice notes. It’s therapeutic.
You had to pivot from events to online programming during the pandemic. Any WFH tips?
I love being able to wash my face in the middle of the day. The Body Shop’s Seaweed Cleansing Gel Wash is one of the best. It’s really refreshing and you feel like you’ve had a facial.
If you could host your own book club during Black History Month, who would you want there?
Assata Shakur, she’s an activist and her autobiography literally blew me away. And Michelle Obama. She’s a powerhouse.
From the pages of her teenage diary to penning poetry as a student at university, writing has always been an outlet for 28 year old Kirsty. “For me, it’s about trying to get to the emotional heart of something.” Careless, published earlier this year, is about 15 year old Bess who finds herself pregnant while in the care of a foster family. “Looking back at old diary entries, I realise much of that early writing informed the voice of Bess. I didn’t appreciate how helpful writing the book had been for me in terms of processing my own stuff until I nearly finished it. It’s like I was giving my younger self a hug, saying ‘Don’t worry, it’ll be ok.’”
1. So where are you now on your self-love journey?
Like many people, my mental and emotional health has suffered over the last 18 months. So I’ve been trying to prioritise myself and find coping mechanisms. Almost being a little bit selfish, if necessary. I’ve found myself saying ‘no’ a lot more, when normally I’m a people pleaser. I think that has helped me to grow in confidence and understand myself a bit better as well.
2. What are some of your coping mechanisms?
To work out what’s going on in your head and put it down on paper in a coherent way, that can be a release. But also basic things, like cleaning. I’ve found that having clutter-free spaces can contribute to a clutter free mind. If I’m feeling overwhelmed, the ceremony and ritual of cleaning can help me to carve out some headspace, in a way that’s also quite productive.
3. How do you get into the zone to write?
At the moment I’m working on my second book in a vest top and a pair of pyjama shorts, with no make-up on. But if my hands feel dry, I can’t focus. I’m obsessed with The Body Shop’s Coconut Hand Cream.
For Sara, an existential therapist and coach, being in a book club can be a ‘beautiful commitment’ to yourself and your friends: “Reading is grounding,” she says. “It can reset us and be motivational. And it’s a great way to learn, acquiring knowledge is one of the greatest self-love gifts. Then to discuss what you’re reading with someone else sparks a connection. It deepens our understanding of one another and can nurture a relationship. So showing up to a book club is a very tangible way of fulfilling our needs.” Here, Sara shares her thoughts on friendship and discusses the books that have helped her define her ‘sense of self’.
- Why do we find it easy to love our friends and are less accepting of ourselves?
Firstly, you will never know your friends as well as you know yourself. I also think we set unrealistic expectations for ourselves. And I don’t think society is great at saying, ‘You’re the most important person.’ Society promotes people-pleasing and co-dependent relationships to such an extent that we’re unlikely to love ourselves unconditionally.
2. Do you believe the most meaningful friendship you can have is the one with yourself?
Yes because we trust ourselves, we understand ourselves and we can control the things we say to ourselves. We need friends, we’re social creatures. But can we have a beautiful friendship with ourselves? Absolutely.
3. Is self-love a journey?
It’s a process. And there’s no ultimate goal. It’s a lifestyle and it’s holistic. Mindfulness is a key component. It allows us to be intentional about the decisions we make. And people forget that mindfulness is all the senses. Smell plays a huge part. For me, The Body Shop Coconut Body Butter is life-giving!
Charlie describes herself as, “Loud and unapologetically proud, especially during Pride.” But growing up, life was hard for the Londoner. “Being effeminate living on a council estate and going to an all boys’ school, I wish I could say reading was my escape but it wasn’t. In fact, I remember being bullied at 11 years old for having a Jacqueline Wilson book in class.” In 2017, Charlie released critically-acclaimed anthology To My Trans Sisters, a collection of letters from trans women sharing their hard-won wisdom, in the hope that “young people find a love in literature that they can’t find in their environment.” Here, the author shares some of the inspiring memoirs that have helped her make sense of the world.
- When did you start reading for pleasure?
I remember reading a piece by Janet Mock in Marie Claire where she came out as trans. I found her book from that article and since then I’ve pretty much read every trans memoir. When you’ve never had anyone to look up to, it’s the best feeling ever when you finally find your people.
2. Have you been inspired by The Body Shop’s Self-Love campaign?
Massively. Many trans people hate their bodies and want to change them. It’s dysphoria, that’s the medical term for being transgender. So to go from being someone who can’t look in a mirror to fronting a campaign about self-love is insane.
3. What beauty products make you feel comfortable and confident?
There’s a difference between wearing make-up because you love it and wearing it because you have to. When I started transitioning, make-up meant I had more chance of being read and respected as female. But now I’m coming back to it as something I love. I’ve always worn The Body Shop lip products and the Matte Lip Butter has been one of my go-tos throughout my transition.
Three books that have changed your life?
- Treasure Yourself: Power Thoughts for My Generation, by Miranda Kerr This came out around the time I got my first big job on I’m A Celebrity. Miranda speaks about a tragedy that happened in her life and it was the first time I found out about affirmations. My mum had books by the likes of Louise Hay in our house growing up, but Miranda’s writing felt more accessible in my twenties.
- The Girl With The Louding Voice, by Abi Daré. It’s about a Nigerian girl called Adunni who is expected to fade into silence but she’s smart, funny and determined not to settle. It’s beautifully written and makes me realise how privileged I am.
- No One Can Change Your Life Except For You, by Laura Whitmore There’s no self-love like giving yourself the space to write a book. It was therapeutic. When I started four years ago, I didn’t want to write a memoir or something solely self-help - I landed on this which is somewhere in between. I’m very proud of it.
Tablet or paperback? Paperback
Colour-coded bookshelves, for or against? In awe of them but I’m not organised enough.
Favourite literary character? Roddy Doyle’s Jimmy Rabbitte in The Commitments
Best biography? Glennon Doyle’s Love Warrior
If you could own any first edition? Roald Dahl’s Matilda.
How do you practise self-love?
Well, I read lots of books, from crime fiction to self-help guides. A good book takes me away from my phone. Since lockdown, cooking has also become a bit of a ritual for me. And one of my favourite things to do is have a bath - I apply The Body Shop’s Vitamin E Sleeping Mask while I’m soaking.
If you could start a book club with anyone in the world… ?
My mum because she’s the one who got me into reading. My friend Dee who recommends books that I would never normally pick up. And then the comedian Katherine Ryan because you need someone funny in book club.